Loving the dog and counting to 10

This reminds me of that painting of a child hugging a dog. I thought it was Normal Rockwell, but doesn't seem to be. Anyone know? It's going to drive me nuts now, trying to figure out who the artist is. Anyways, Paisley's really been into the animals this week, either tormenting them or trying to cuddle. She forever chases Maggie the dog, putting sunglasses on her, necklaces, her blankie, and luckily Maggie is just so sweet she tolerates Paisley. She does give me the "why the hell did you bring this monkey into the house" look while she's being tormented. The cats are different. They don't do tolerance. Paisley was laying on one of the cats today, while he growled. She found a cat toy we have, that's a stick with a string attached and some furry concoction on the end of it. Paisley doesn't realize that the cats go for the furry part, instead she just chases them around and hits them with the stick.

I didn't know she could do this until a few days ago. My kid is the smartest kid EVER.

don't ever complain about not seeing pics of paisley

I don't really feel like writing much, but I'll try to explain why I chose these particular pictures. This one (first of all, we have a couch cover, it's not usually THIS nasty) is Paisley watching "a show." Usually when she asks for a show, she says "a show!" with lots of vigorous affirmative head nodding, like she's trying to let us know what a great idea it would be to watch "a show." Which is really odd to me, because she does this all day, but yet hardly glances at the tv when it's on. I think in this picture she sat there for all of 2 minutes, but the 2 minutes with the 2 babies was pretty damn cute.

I was able to go to town BY MYSELF the other day. Totally rocked. So I stopped at this little used children's store, and found P this darling coat. She didn't have one yet, and this was Gap, perfect condition, and really really cheap. Doesn't get much better than that.

I also found this Little Tykes playground, which I'd never seen before. And it was cheap, so I got it for her. She is obsessed with swings, that's all she wants to do at parks, and even tried to scoot her little booty onto this swing. Oh, guess you can't really see it, but it's about the size of a silver dollar. She didn't fit. And she tried to go down the tiny slide.
These are the cats she tortures on a daily basis. This is Maddox. He bites her, yet she still comes back for more. And no, he did not choose to cuddle the bunny on his own.
Caesar. He yells at Paisley. A lot. But he's too stupid to realize that he can run away when she's hitting him with a broom. Said broom is now hidden in a closet.

Petunia. She's the sweetie. She'll even let Paisley lay her head on her, for a second or two.
I tried taking some close ups, but she kept running around to see the image on the camera. I got a lot of blurry pics that day.

The rest are pretty self-explanatory.








Daddy has been working really hard to get her to speak like a surfer. I think "radical" is next on the list.

Fat kids

Paisley and I went to the pool today. We just wanted to hang out in the kiddie pool, dump cups of water, and relax. Mind our own business. Our pool has an "adult swim," Basically meaning that the 16 year old lifeguards go inside and smoke pot for 25 minutes while all the little kids get bored and come into the kiddie pool. 25 minutes!!! I was a lifeguard (long long long time ago) once, and our adult swims were 10 minutes, and there was still a guard on duty to corral errant children. Reminds me of the time that I had to approach a little boy's mother because she was paying no attention to him, he was going down the big tunnel slide and I'd have to fish him out every time (and he was too small to be going down alone anyway), or when he wouldn't get out of the wading pool at break, and his mother yelled at me in the office because I was picking on her and her child because he had "special needs." No, she just wasn't paying any damn attention to her child and he was trying to drown himself. Another story, another time. 10 years later and that STILL makes me angry. Anyways, so yeah, 25 freaking minutes. These kids were getting bored. So a bunch came into the kiddie pool, and I (either from previous guard experience or just being a mother) asked them to get out. That it wasn't fair to the small children, or to everyone else at this pool. I had to say that at least 4 different times. The last time was to about 4 boys about 8 or 9ish. They were SO rude, I couldn't believe it. Rolling there eyes and back talking to me. Now, I wasn't being rude to them or yelling or anything, just told them politely that the kiddie pool is meant for children under the age of 6. Backtalking, faces, I couldn't couldn't couldn't believe how unbelievably rude these kids were. If I was like that when I was their age? I would've been knocked into the next year. Even 10 years ago when I guarded, kids weren't like that. Just incredible to me.

The other thing I noticed at the pool, besides the 16 year old high life guards, I was probably the skinniest person there. That's especially scary when almost everyone there is under the age of 10. Seriously. And I'm not teeny at all, just average. Kids weren't this fat when I was that age, because I remember picking on the fat kid. We don't even have a fast food restaurant within 15 miles, how do these kids get so fat? It definitely scares me, and makes me rethink our eating habits, especially because Paisley LOVES fries.

I don't have any new pics, so I'll put up some from a year ago.
She still loves to annoy the cats, and laugh hysterically.

She's certifiable

I don't understand how a child can be terrified of some things, (bugs, alligators, hills, swimming pools) yet be so fearless about other things.

It's getting hot in heeeeeerrrrrrreeee

I'm amazed that people are still reading this blog. Thank you. I still read all my blogs, I just have been so lazy at commenting. Commenting involves moving, and moving involves sweating, which I've been trying really unsuccessfully not to do. Some people are a little naive about Kansas/the midwest, so I'll set you straight. It's effing hot here. Humid. You just have to walk outside to instantly be wet. It's an all around horrible feeling.

Besides not moving, we have gotten up enough courage to venture to the pool. That's a nice break, although P tolerates it for only short periods of time. Then she tries to climb in other people's baby carriers, steal other little pink shoes, until we have to go home. There is a nice baby pool, surprisingly enough, and it's free as long as we promise not to go into the big pool.

We had a good fourth...there was a block party (is that just a small town thing) which was really quite fun. Paisley held out until just after 10, (remember, this is the child that goes down every night at 7:30) but I'd had enough fireworks and mosquitoes at that point. The next night there was another party on a neighbor's driveway. That seems to be the trend around here, gathering all your friends and all your lawn chairs and drinking on your driveway and watch people drive by. I'm hoping that when my family comes to town that we can do that as well so that we'll start to fit in.

Back to Paisley, she is most definitely a Bartholomew, or maybe it's just Lee. She loves all things tiny. When we were in Utah she loved the tiny chair, she loved her cousin's tiny cars (which I still can't find anywhere. Does anyone know anything about those micro mini cars?), the tiny tea set. At home she's got quite a few tike sized chairs, a doll stroller that she insists in getting in, and now a tiny picnic set and baking set. Anyway, she insists on eating off of the tiny plates and with the silverware, putting jelly bellys on various plates. My favorite though (and the reason for this paragraph) is when she ate her peaches and cream with a tiny tiny spoon. And scooped out every last drop.




My friend thinks I'm evil for putting my kid on a leash. It works. And now she'll go find it and bring it to me, asking to wear "the bear." So it can't be evil if she asks for it, right? She's also at the stage where she mimicks everything. See last post. For example, whenever I sweep the floor, she has to run and find her broom and help. It's really cute and sweet and all, but kind of annoying because she ends up sweeping dirt everywhere. Also when I scrub the floor, she has to have her own rag. Love that part. Tons of new and cute stuff she's doing and saying lately, but I'm a bad mom and don't write down (remember) what it is she's doing. She's pretty damn cute though. She also ASKED me to paint her toenails black. Okay, not for the color, but she found this bottle, so I figured what the hell. She'll be the only girl on the block with black toenails.

Oh shit

How is it July already? It's all going too quickly, my baby will be 2 in only 3 months. That seems impossible to me. I've realized over the past few years that I detest fireworks. They're pretty and all (although a waste of money) but on ONE NIGHT ONLY. What is it with people doing fireworks every night for the entire week before and after the fourth? They're loud. They're obnoxious. Worst of all, they wake up my baby and that really ticks me off.

I would have posted last night, but someone sent me home with 2500 pictures to put on our computer, causing it to choke, while I tried desperately to give it mechanical CPR. It's still coughing.

Paisley and I are glad to be home, although being here makes me realize how much I do miss Utah and that side of the family and our friends. We were able to catch up with quite a few people and I enjoyed myself. I'm not sure P enjoyed herself, but she's 1. It's still about me for awhile. Charles is definitely glad to have us home, and I love being able to make him change poops and give baths. He's got a lot of time to make up for. He also likes having a little monkey around the house, a monkey that will mimick everything. The other morning while we were lazying on the couch, he told P to say 'shit.' "Sit!" she says. So I playfully smack him on the arm. What does Paisley do? Yells "sit" while smacking us. Over and over and over.

Paisley only got one full day with her grampa in Utah, so we tried to make the best of it. We went to Thanksgiving Point, ate lunch, rode the ponies, petted the animals, got really hot. Someone was getting married that day, which would have been beautiful, but I felt really bad for the bride because it was just sweltering.

She's clinging to my arm for dear life, while I try to keep up with the ponies in my heels.

Another day we went to Olive Garden for lunch, and P learned to put olives on her fingers. See? See the olive mom?
My MIL has some crazy obsession with pigs. They are all over her house, although I don't believe she really buys herself that many. Paisley loved them, sat with them, fed them fruit cups, played the piano with them. There is a picture floating around somewhere of P playing the piano with a pig in a chair on the piano bench next to her. I can't find it though.

trip from hell

Sorry, N, but you know what I mean!!! Anyways, we're back from CA. Finally. I'm not really sure why I thought driving from Utah to California with a 1 year old was a good idea. Because it's really not. Paisley had just gotten over her stomach bug when we threw her in the car and drove to Vegas. As we were leaving I could tell she was getting a cold, but she was still in good spirits.



My friend N and her daughter A and P and myself drove to Vegas, saw my aunt and uncle, stayed the night there, then got up the next day and drove to Hesperia, where my friend's parents live. Stayed there for a night, then headed on to Carpenteria and the beach. We weren't sure if we wanted to camp, and I didn't know if P would do it or not, so we looked into getting a motel for the night (we already had access to one for the other nights) and got one for a good deal. The motel we were already staying at, Motel 6, had good rates so we just stayed there, but I had to take a picture of the bedspread and it's wonderful tackiness. They made these specifically for the hotel, because the sign is on the spread. I hope they fired that designer.




I have never been more thankful for anything in my life than that hotel room. Well, except for the epidural. Why? Because I woke up that night around 12:30 and puked and pooed for the next 12 hours or so. And if we had been camping? I don't even want to think about it. So as I lay ill in bed that first morning at the beach, N took Paisley with her to the campsite. Besides throwing up, I cried and cried and cried that I wouldn't be there to see my baby's first time on sand, or the first time to go in the ocean. Luckily, they ended up not going to the water and I was still able to experience that with her. Which she HATED. Not disliked, but HATED. Would not touch the sand, screamed when I put her in the water. See her face? That's pure terror.

By the last day, she finally decided the sand wasn't so bad and walked around on it, but still wouldn't go near the water.

The whole trip she seemed a little grumpier than usual, but I thought it was just being out of her element, new places, too much McDonalds, but I noticed today that both of her bottom eyeteeth have broken through. That probably explains why she was up for 2 hours in the middle of the night last night, and a few nights ago.

We still have a few days before we go home, and I've got more to update on, but I wanted N to know that we had a great time on this trip, thank you SO MUCH, and I apologize for the grumpy/whininess/crying. From P too. We're really excited to get home to Charles and our animals and our house and our beds and our car and all those little things that get so taken for granted but that we miss so so much.

Land of the odd

Having been away from Utah for over two years now, I've repressed forgotten just how strange of a place this is. Number one thing that I'd forgotten and noticed immediately? The overabundance of Hummers. One Hummer is an abundance, but these monsters are everywhere. Really? Because if you lived on top of a mountain then maybe, but only maybe, would a hummer be doable. But really? In the city? That block to church just won't do in a sedan.

I laughed out loud when I saw this yesterday. For those who aren't familiar with why there is a giant man in a suit holding a black book, it's a mormon missionary. Not at all uncommon in this area. Even funnier to me was when Karen (granmamama) told me he had been stolen awhile back.

This really has nothing to do with Utah, but was amusing nonetheless. Is that one word? We were driving along a fairly busy street, right by a senior activity center when this group of older folks started walking across the street. The woman in the black bermudas just kinda charged out. No crosswalk, no looking for cars, they just went. And they were SO. SLOW. Everyone saw them and stopped so there weren't any crushed wheel chairs, but I felt really bad because my first response was to laugh, but I didn't feel so bad when Karen started laughing at the exact moment I did.
And the best part...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to Charles, Grandpa and Papa. There should be cards for the grandpa's, but honestly? I can't remember if they were mailed or not. No card for Charles. Maybe when I get a birthday card he'll get a Father's Day card. Love you anyway Charles. We miss you tons and hope that you getting to sleep to your heart's content for 3 weeks is a good present.
We're headed out tonight to Vegas, about 5 hours or so, and I'm not sure if I'll have computer access for the next week or so. Keep toes crossed that we're all safe and healthy. I can't wait to get to the beach! I'm sure I'll have tons and tons of pics when we get back.

You've got to be kidding

Last night I made plans to go out with an old friend of mine, and when I say out, I mean like no kids, to a bar, have some drinks and just have a good time. We decided to go to the Owl Bar at
Sundance, which unless you live in your ass everyone should have at least heard of. Anyway, it's GORGEOUS up this canyon, I just absolutely love it. It's probably one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. So we drive up to the Owl Bar (if you click on the link and look at the picture, that's totally where I sat. I'm so cool.) which is really cool and cabinny and homey, with lots of wood and a fireplace. And we had fun. I got to catch up with an old friend and talk to a tatoo artist about piercings (since I have 11-sorry dad, just ignore that part). There was no cell phone service though, but I figured it wasn't a huge deal, I'd put P to bed before I left, and I could just call Charles once I was in service. We left a little before 12 and I called Charles and the first thing he tells me is that he talked to his mom and Paisley was throwing up. Then I checked my messages, 2 of them about P throwing up. Luckily it's only about a 15 minute drive home, so I ran inside to see my daughter white as a sheet, and then proceeded to watch her dry heave for the next few hours. That has got to be the worst feeling in the world, not only to watch your children miserable, but to feel so incredibly guilty to not have known, to not have been there. Anyway, long story short, we have a rocky night. P finally fell asleep around 1:30ish, but I was awake at every sound she made, so I slept like crap, not to mention I was already not feeling hunky dory from my night out. P seems better today, but has a fever and won't eat. She's napping now. What I'm worried about is we were supposed to leave for CA tomorrow. Luckily my friend that I'm going with is completely flexible and we could leave Saturday if needed. There's my drama. Oh, and I was supposed to go to IKEA today. Oh well. I just can't believe that she's sick again, because she JUST DID THIS!!!!

Summer Vacation

Paisley and I decided last minute to take a trip to Utah/California (I decided and I'm the mom) to see family and crash another family's reunion. They're camping on the beach in CA, why not?

Anyway, we had to leave KC at 5:50 am (the shuttle came at 4:10!) and fly to Denver, switch planes, then fly into SLC, then drive from SLC to Orem, about 50 minutes away. We were soooo tired (we as in Paisley and me. Charles didn't come. He wasn't invited), but P did really really really well. I was so proud of her. No melt downs. I did buy her a harness, which when I was younger thought was evil and said I would never do that to MY child. There's a lot of things I used to say I wouldn't do as a parent and now find myself doing. Anyways, so she was harnessed and I had to carry a backpack of entertainment for her, a huge purse of food and diapers (for P as well) and the carseat. No way in hell would she stay on my lap. But people are really nice and someone ALWAYS offered to help me. Which I really appreciated. Now we're here, actually in another part of UT visiting Charles' sis Janet and children. I think we're going to Walmart soon (since I don't get enough walmart in podunk Kansas), then to dinner. We played outside for awhile, as Janet has a nice swingset and we all know how much P loves to swing. My 6 year old nephew kept telling me to take his picture while he batted, and he also "showed" me how to use his Wii, although he was a little stingy about letting me actually play and we had a little fight about it. I totally won.

Forgot to mention that I celebrated a bday last Saturday. I'm now the ripe old age of 24. Believe me? Charles slaved over a cake for me (nasty cake from Walmart. sorry Charles, it really was gross), and put lots and lots of candles on it. He did let me sleep in though, and brought me breakfast in bed. Our tiny little town had a parade and carnival for me (ok not really for me) where we watched random pickup trucks drive down the street and throw candy (which P and I loved) and we got cotton candy (which P and I also loved) and Charles spent a good $7 trying to win P a really cheap stuffed seal. It was fun, but hot, so we left before the tractor pull started. Then we went to the really classy steakhouse called Ramblers. Did I mention how classy it is? It's actually pretty good food though. What I'm really mad about though? Charles didn't get me anything. Well, I take that back. I got my hair done and that was my present, but he didn't give me a card. All I wanted was a card. When I asked him why not? He said he lost it. The truth, or a good cover up?

Paisley and cousin Leif

Ready for the drive thru, she's got her money out. Large diet coke, please!
This is why I KS is not my favorite place. It's missing mountains.